A Different Perspective

This Easter weekend was a difficult few days. Jason's grandma is in the hospital clinging to life, and I received a call on Friday from Braeden's pulmonologist that I have been dreading. For people with Cystic Fibrosis, normal bugs that don't mess with us "normal" people really do a number on them. We deal with common things all the time - the flu, the common cold, Staph infections...We treat them and move on; however, they always seem to leave something behind - scarring. That's the Fibrosis part of CF. This time, though, his doctor said that he was growing Pseudomonas, a bacteria that builds colonies in the lungs and cannot be demolished. They will always be there, especially the kind Braeden is growing. I was hoping beyond hope that we wouldn't get this infection until he became a teenager. He's four...There are so many places that you can get it, but we think that we got it from our last hospital stay - a parting gift, if you will. While I spent most of Friday afternoon crying and worrying, Sunday came with a new perspective.

All those years ago, our Father spent Friday hiding his face while Jesus was suffering. He couldn't bare to see His Son taking on all the sin and pain that we all put on Him. That was Friday for me...Crying, saddened, broken. My brokenness was NOTHING compared to what Jesus was going through, but I remembered that God relates as He watched His Son suffer as well. Then came Sunday when Jesus rose again, conquering death, brokenness, sadness, sin. Sunday for me was realizing that my job is to lay Braeden at the foot of the cross, to bring him to the alter like Hannah did for Samuel. Hannah wanted a baby so badly - she was hurt, broken, tormented by not being able to bear a child. When she prayed, she asked God for a child, and when He provided one, she would give him back to the Father. That's what I have to do with Braeden - to give him to God at the altar knowing that there is nothing I can do that God hasn't willed. That said, this is not an easy process. It hurts; it's painful, but what other choice is there? Maybe the point of this is similar to what Jesus spoke about in John Chapter 9 when he healed the blind man. His disciples asked who sinned that this man should be blind from birth. Jesus replied that no one sinned; he was blind so that the Father could be glorified through him. And when Jesus healed him, the man ran back into town and told everyone what Jesus had done. The Father was glorified...

This is one of the hardest things about being a mom, especially to a sick child. You want to give your very life  for your child but know that you can't. That must have been what God felt like on Friday. He knew that His will had to be completed in order to reconcile us back, but it was so painful that He couldn't watch. Then came Sunday...I can't wait for Braeden's Sunday - when this pain goes away. We are getting close. That cure is right around the corner. Our job will be just to keep him as healthy as we can until we qualify for that cure. Keep praying - Braeden's Sunday is closer that we can hope!